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Respect -- Demand vs Command
By James Emery Vigh of profbruno.com
Every once in a while you may run into someone who will complain that he/she gets no respect from people. Some even get belligerent about being "dissed". They demand that they get the respect that they feel they deserve. So what about this "respect" thing? Well for one thing, respect is something that one earns by words and deeds. This is called "commanding" respect as opposed to "demanding" respect. You cannot demand or require someone to respect you. Respect is given or not given by the personal choice of the potential giver. People will respect you if they feel that you deserve respect. They won't do it just because you say that you require it. However, even if you decide that someone isn't deserving of your respect, does this mean that you shouldn't behave respectfully towards that person? What's the difference between respecting someone and behaving respectfully towards him or her? Behaving respectfully is a function of who you are and how you carry yourself. It is about how you treat others. You can be respectful regardless how you may feel about a person. For example, when I teach Sunday school to kids, I can demand that they pay attention to me. I can also demand that they behave in a respectful manner. But if they actually respect me, that's their decision. Some people, I fear, don't realize this difference. People will respect you if you carry yourself with respect and behave respectfully.
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